Archives for category: Orlando

In Orlando it is actively encouraged that every man, woman and child should eat ‘turkey’ legs (they actually have the appearance, flavour and grotesque size of a pig’s leg, but they market them as turkey and it feels less gross that way so I’m happy to be taken in and believe what they say). I’d not heard of it before but it is clearly a local thing because there were t shirts everywhere with turkey legs on them and no shortage of turkey leg sellers around the theme parks. Not wanting to miss out on local tradition, we got involved.


Ridiculous, delicious, Florida.


And so to Orlando. For beauty, history and natural splendour, Orlando can surely only be beaten by one place; everywhere. There was more organic matter on our cruise ship, growing in the creases and belly folds of our fellow guests, than there is in the whole of Orlando. What there is in Orlando though, is mile after mile of carefully manicured fakery, so perfectly constructed so as to make you feel as though you are actually in a sort of weird paradise, a magical place, where dreams really do come true. Disney World baby.

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter baby.

A Dr Seuss themed, insane acid trip theme park. Baby.

Definitely my favourite fake and over made up thing in Orlando right now though, is my sister, Annabelle. Jokes. Sort of. But seriously, for two weeks only, a small part of my family were/are in town. This is me and Annabelle feeling exactly as excited as we were 20 years ago, last time we were about to get on Splash Mountain.

And here you can see my little nephew King Charles, all the way from the 17th century.

In all seriousness though, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Annabelle, Bill, Georgina, Michael and of course Robyn for letting us stay with them. Y’all are the best, and I only hope that the tears have dried and the good times have started again since we left you.