While I have only just managed to post a blog entry about New Orleans (I actually wrote it two days ago but my iPad didn’t play ball when I tried to upload it first time and then I forgot about it because I’m busy, OK?) we actually left the Big Easy eight days ago, so I image you’re all thinking ‘just what have you been up to for over a week without keeping us updated you sod?’ Allow me to fill you in, with a new feature I’m calling:

Eight days condensed in to a few concise paragraphs that should only take about a minute to read

We went to Dallas. It was big and fairly ugly, like most of its inhabitants and its shopping mall Christmas tree.

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We went to El Paso. It was dark and fairly murdery. I had ‘chicken’ enchiladas, the filling of which had the exact same distinct flavour, texture and look of tinned tuna. I literally would have been better off with an Old El Paso dinner kit from Morrisons.

We stopped at a motel that was completely murdery. Here is the view from our poolside room.

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We somehow found ourselves staying for two nights in an incredibly beautiful, upscale golf resort in Phoenix, Arizona. Forgot my clubs but did manage to spend several hours by the pool.

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Then we drove, through the desert, past cacti, round sandstone, up mountains and through valleys.

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(Photograph in black and white to cover up the hideous clashing colours of my clothes, not to make the picture appear moody and emotional)

Finally we arrived in Flagstaff, AZ. It’s a boring university town with nothing really going for it. Except that it is next door to the biggest and best thing I’ve ever seen. More to come.

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