As we sit on the Greyhound bus about to leave New York and head in to America proper, it feels appropriate that I should put together a highlights package from our time in the Big Apple. Four weeks is a long time to be anywhere, yet in New York it is nothing like enough and there are unquestionably things that didn’t get done. However I will do my best to compile a list of things that I would recommend be done by anybody, particularly on a tight budget, mostly in the hope that this will be picked up by people Googling for “things to do in New York,” and they might accidentally start following my blog, giving me an artificially inflated sense of purpose.
1. Go to a Mets game.
As regular readers will recall, we went to a Mets game a couple of weeks ago. As a fan of many sports but not baseball, I loved it. As a fan of many things, but not sports, Lovisa loved it. An all-American day out, with excellent seats at very reasonable prices (less than $20 each), there is nothing not to love about going to the ball game. I also think its important that you go and see the Mets and not the Yankees. The Beastie Boys are Mets fans. Which white rapper loves the Yankees?
Exactly.
(For the mums and dads, that’s Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. Yes, that’s the actual name of his band, and yes, they are without question the worst band that has ever existed, ever.)
2. Get the cable car to/from Roosevelt Island.
On our last day in town we went to Roosevelt Island. I barely even knew it was there, much less that it had anything of interest on it, but we wanted to be able to say that we had covered as much of the city as possible and since the subway stopped there, we decided to go. The island itself is nothing really to write home about, just a lot of high rise residential buildings and something that resembles a prison or perhaps mental asylum. One thing that it does have though, is a bloody lovely cable car that runs alongside the Queensboro Bridge, back to Manhattan. It’s not a tourist attraction per se, and the classic Midtown skyline views are a little obscured, but its an amazing way to see the east side of Manhattan, the East River and Queens. It is part of the MTA public transport network too, so all you need to ride it is your subway/bus ticket which unless you’re mentally in to walking, you will already have.
Photo credit goes to Lovisa Berglund who is good at everything.
3. Make your own sight-seeing tour.
New York is the setting for hundreds of TV programmes and films so if you want to feel like a Ghostbuster or eat cupcakes like Carrie Bradshaw or play a massive piano in FAO Schwarz like Josh Baskin or go to Queens to find a wife like Prince Akeem (actually most of Coming to America was filmed in Brooklyn, so go there) then the Internet is awash with information on where your favourite movie locations are. On Sunday I walked up to the west side of Harlem to find W 144 ST and Convent, AKA 111 Archer Avenue, AKA the house that Royal Tenebaum bought in the winter of his 35th year.
If you haven’t seen The Royal Tenenbaums then I would recommend not only that you do because its one of the great films of the 21st century, but also that you go the Trinity Cemetery anyway. It is used for a couple of scenes in the film but in its own right, it is just an interesting, tranquil place full of history, something not necessarily easy to come by in New York
“Hell of a damn grave. Wish it were mine.”
4. Eat Thai food.
New York has a reputation for being an expensive place to eat out, and after a month there I can say that this is not far from the truth. However if you want to eat well and eat cheaply, you can, and without doubt the best way to do so is at Thai restaurants, that for some reason are phenomenally well priced. At one West Village place we got a starter, main course and wine for $15. Even on the Upper East Side, in what is now officially America’s most expensive zip code, we got a two course lunch for $7.50. These are good restaurants with fancy decor, generous portions and tasty food. They must be making their money out the back, human trafficking, prostitute smuggling, dog fighting or something. Just don’t think too hard about it and enjoy the crap out of your cheap dinner.
5. Don’t go to the top of The Empire State Building.
The most iconic feature of the New York skyline, and you’re standing on top of it, taking pictures of everything else. Don’t be an idiot. Go to The Top of the Rock at The Rockefeller Center and people will actually know where you’ve been when you show them your holiday snaps.
And finally…
Just go for a walk. If you need to, get on the subway first, but then get off somewhere, anywhere, and just walk it baby. There is always something to see, someone to look at, a place to eat, a building you want to live in. I gave Williamsburg a hard time before, but I could still go for another walk around because its in the best city in the whole world, and I’d rather be in that over-hyped, over-hip, wanker village than Shoreditch, any day.
That’s it. New York, you were a dream. Take care of yourself, I want to be back in you very soon.
a postcard in free verse 